When sleep becomes a distant dream

I still remember how excited I was to know that my little angle was soon going to be part of this wonderful world. Every visit to the doctor as well as an ultrasound session was as exciting as a carnival. Not only would my physician let me know if the munchkin was healthy, but the trip to the doctor’s room also let me have a glace at my baby.

His kicks would never let me sleep and consuming food was indeed a herculean task due to nausea. Life had become more challenging when I was diagnosed with Dengue during the sixth month of my pregnancy. All the while, my only wish was for the good lord to take care of my baby. Fortunately, nothing went drastically wrong and both of us are hail and healthy!

My life changed the moment the doctors had placed my baby boy on my chest. I was calm and thrilled to see such a beautiful human being before me. Then again, the fun had only begun!

If sleepless nights were obvious signs of an expecting mother, the sleeplessness is a more than a mere prerequisite for a woman entering motherhood! My son had truly managed to cease the word ‘relaxation’ from my life.

Growing up

Aarav (my son) would not sleep at all. The routine, though monotonous was tiring – crying, followed by feeding and then pooping (passing stools). He loved being the nocturnal kind and chose to play when the world around him yearned to sleep. I was compelled to be awake from 2.30am to 5 am. Wow! But no matter exhausted I was my heat continued to rejoice at his many discoveries. Each time he wrapped his cute little fingers around my hand, I would say – you are worth everything! Soon, I was at peace and both of us would close our eyes and explore ‘Wonderland’ together!

Mother and baby sharing a precious moment
Shreelakshmi and her baby

It was not long before he began crawling and running around at jet-speed! The concept of ‘me-time’ had taken a back-seat and I was unable to eat properly. No, I did not starve. But I would swallow my food for chewing demanded too much time! The routine now included diaper changes, tackling cranky moods, vaccinations etc. Grooming myself had become the least of my concerns. My hair would remain unkempt and dirty for weeks. The visits to the beauty parlous were a rare event as I refused to step out of the house. Why? For I feared that my baby would be exposed to unhygienic conditions and would soon be in contact with those whose hands are unclean. After all, no mother would want her baby to fall terribly sick!

Lessons of motherhood

Today, as my baby turns a year old, I would say that motherhood has changed me for the better.  I feel responsible for anything and everything that my child does and believes in. Be it a visit to his grandparents or being underweight – the decision in mine.  Honestly, it isn’t easy. Taking care of my husband, the household and my little guy simultaneously drains the energy out of me. Everything seems to be given second priority – career, beauty, sleep, health, and even your personal preferences. All this for that one priceless word that brightens my life – Mumma!

(Parents’ diary is a series of personal accounts of young parents)